You Are In Control Of Your Own Destiny

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YOU are the only person who can change your future. It is a matter of choice, so it’s time to take the bull by the horns and change your destiny!

The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny. -Albert Ellis

You are in control of your own destiny. I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but I want you to really take a minute, read it and let it sink in. You are in control of your own destiny. No one else, just you. You are in control of whether you succeed or accept defeat, get up or continue to lie down, live as a victim or as a champion. It is all 100% within your control.

Jack Welch said, “Control your own destiny or someone else will.” What he is saying is the same. In those moments of decision, if you don’t put in the hard work and become the builder of your own life, different people will influence the outcome. The only way you are going to put yourself on the right path is by taking control of your life. 

I know that your thought process may be, “But I’m just me! There is this big world of influence all around us that impacts our every moment!” And this is true, but it is all about how you decide to deal with it. What do you bring to the table that is either progressing your vision or hindering it? Because those opportunities are all within our reach, it’s just a matter of what you are doing (or perhaps not doing) to get there.

The world is all about energies: What you put out in the world does come back to you. And please understand that I am not talking about kindness for others in this instance. I mean that what YOU put out in the world, the world hears and responds to in kind.

If you want to make more money, complaining about it won’t help. There is no reciprocal event that happens to enable you to make more money when you are all talk. Can you go to school? Can you apply for another job? Can you apprentice with someone and learn a trade during your off-hours? What can YOU do to put yourself in the situation you envision? Change the inertia in your life and things will begin moving!

As we get an idea of what we truly want, it is up to us to put ourselves in situations that may yield these results. Have you been engaged for six years with no marriage in sight? What can you do to change that? Can you challenge your partner – but you haven’t because you’re afraid of what you might hear? That anxiety won’t get you to marriage, it will only yield the results of staying right where you are.

Are you single and looking to find someone? That won’t happen unless you are putting yourself in situations where you are interacting with other singles. It only takes one real connection, so let different people take you to lunch over the next few weeks. Not only will it put you in a position for movement, but you will find yourself opening up to the true possibility of connecting with someone.

Let’s talk about that – the idea of being open. I have always been a big believer that things fall in our laps when we’re not paying attention and that it is our job to know and recognize them. How do you recognize them? You prepare yourself every day to allow good things to happen. You do what you can to open yourself up to whatever may occur – and you do this each and every day; not based on “what ifs” or anxieties, but based on the willingness to allow a bigger picture to form. When a window is open, the sun can shine in.

The only way you are going to take control of your destiny is by making a choice. Having a firm resolve that it is you who has to step up in your times of need. You are the master of your destiny and you can make conscious decisions that impact your own environment – both internal and external. 

The bottom line is that there will always be obstacles in life. There is no way to change that. BUT, if you can look at those obstacles as something to get you moving, something that will challenge you, something that you can conquer, you will find that being in control of your own destiny is the key. Make that your mantra and everything will get a little bit easier.

What are you going to do this week to empower yourself and move towards controlling your own destiny? Let me know!


  1. Yes BUT…you can get COVID and be dead in a wink. You can amass millions and someone else steal it all. You can be the fittest person in your college dorm and have head trauma that leaves you disabled. Meanwhile, destiny goes on despite your best intentions, the best grades or degrees, and luck has a lot to do with what happens. So yes…we do have some control. We get to pick our values and beliefs and character, and uphold the law, and do our best. That’s about it.

    1. I completely agree with you, we have very little control of the outside forces, diseases, and traumas that could befall us. But when faced with life, it is up to us who we allow to participate and what attitude we take with it.

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